2010!!

Well, 2010 is here! I was not sad to say goodbye to 2009…it was a rough year! From beginning to end, 2009 was a constant challenge. There were a couple of great things that did come out of it though…the main one being strength. I began the year so weak in my heart, mind, and soul. Throughout the year, so many challenges faced me and most of them I was able to deal with. The others…I’m still walking with. There was a certain time this year that I am especially proud of. Scott & I made some major decisions in our life, personally and as a couple. They were decisions that involved things we had been considering for some time, changes we knew would be hard but better for us down the road. So, within a span of a month and a half, we stood up from our “sitting” position and got our “stuff” together.


There was a time during 2009 that I felt like I couldn’t function on my own sometimes. It’s so easy to depend on other people to help you through, but there always comes a time when you have to find that inner strength and stand on your own. So many people want to help you along the way, but sometimes they get too involved and the line between help and crossing personal boundaries becomes fuzzy. I’m not saying everyone who we sought or volunteered to help got too involved. So many people know their boundaries and respect yours. But, I was in a comfort zone to where I was allowing my personal boundaries to be crossed…letting others in a little too much. I believe there is an important and vital boundary in everyone’s life that should be respected and guarded. Not guarded as in hiding your troubles out of shame or fear, I believe there are some things that can be shared and some things that are just private. I know some people that are more than eager to spill ALL their heartaches and disappointments to whomever will listen. I have found that most of these people say they want help (and some actually do), but a big majority are seeking attention to fill a void in their life. These people don’t really WANT to be helped. They merely want to feel like others care about them and this is the only way they know to have that expressed to them.

What is so frightening is that there are people on the receiving end that enjoy being needed. Everyone wants to feel needed, but I’m talking about people who thrive on the situations and almost ask for them. These are the type of people who want to know your hurts and fears so badly that they try to trigger or pull any bit of raw emotion out of you, thus crossing a boundary. This type of personality is not only after the feeling of being important (needed to the extreme), but they are needing to feel in control of others. Like with an outlet, when these two types of personalities meet, there is electricity; one feeding off the other for emotional needs. There are, though, people who truly want to help you, but they respect the boundaries in your life as well as their own.

My main point in the last two paragraphs (I got way off subject) is that I didn’t want to become the “dependant” type person. I don’t mind sharing my feelings, but I do have set boundaries. Not until changes were made this year, did I actually learn and understand the importance of boundaries. I had no idea, in the beginning, what mine were. When you have no personal boundaries, others will cross what should be one not even realizing they are doing so. But, you can’t be upset with them…because you never made them aware of what was “off limits”. After learning and figuring out what suited me, I began enforcing it. Some people were a little put off by it and even questioned me as to whether I was angry with them or if I had fallen off the wagon of Christianity. If I were on the outside, I guess I would have the same questions. But, no I’m not a heathen or angry with anyone. And, this post is not pointed to any one person. Also, there is no one person I was having issues with…it was a collective of me determining my boundaries and applying them.

By having these boundaries, it has freed me in huge ways. I feel not so out of control. I feel much stronger in my self, my home life, my marriage, my family, and most importantly in my relationship with God. I found strength and understanding. I found self respect and a deeper respect for others. I found that I have no want or need to be “carried” through life’s challenges. I found that I can stand up, and take care of business. As long as I seek God’s guidance and stay focused, I feel like I can hold onto this strength. I’m not saying asking for or receiving help is bad, but I am saying it’s bad when you are so dependant on it that you don’t even know or try to face challenges on your own.

So, I’m looking forward to 2010. I feel excited…like here is a new adventure. This year, Scott & I decided to work on communicating and cleansing. Communicating is self-explanatory. Cleansing…we plan to clean out everything! Cleaning not only in our home, but within ourselves. There are so many thoughts and feelings we’ve held onto for so long…they shouldn’t be an issue in our lives when in reality they are all in the PAST. We’re just getting rid of all the trash or things we’ve held onto that have no purpose in our lives. So, on to a great new year!!