2010: Cleansing, Cleaning & Organizing

So, we are well into the first month of the year. Yea! As I have mentioned-in part-before, our goal for 2010 is cleansing, cleaning & organizing.

Cleansing
The dictionary defines this as: To free from dirt, defilement, or guilt; to purge or clean. And, that is exactly what the idea is. Scott & I have begun cleansing our bodies of highly processed, high calorie foods. Of course, we haven't arrived at the zero mark on that, but we are on that road and have made progress. Scott has cut down substantially on his carbonated drinks (Coke & Pepsi being the favorite). His stomach has decreased so much...I had no idea that would make such a huge difference! I have started eating oranges as snacks...I used to hate oranges, but for some reason now they fit me quite nicely. We also got a treadmill, stationary bike, and Wii Fit for Christmas, so we'll be integrating that into our daily lives. Scott hasn't used any of the equipment, but his job is exercise enough! I don't let one day pass without doing one of them, even if it's just for 10 minutes. My goal though is to increase my 30 minutes to an hour a day for 6 consecutive days. Other than the physical cleansing, our most important cleansing we're targeting is spiritually, emotionally and mentally. We want to focus on furthering ourself spiritually in many areas...we're still trying to figure out in what direction, but there are a few directions available. Emotionally, we're trying to cleanse some things in our marriage and relationships with family & friends. Even when you have a 'good thing going', there is always room to work on being more attentive, more understanding, and more flexible without stepping over your (or others) boundaries. Mentally, we are working towards not stressing so much on finances, schedules, jobs, etc. I have made 2009 & 2010 a time of discovery. I want to (& have been) really searching within myself to find root causes, more information, and a good management plan for my OCD. In all the 25 (yes, 25!) years I've had this, I have been so embarrassed to even look into the issue. It is the type of disorder that is not easy to talk about. Although many people think it's a leg of being insane, it's not. OCD is chemical, physiological. It's basically where certain receptors in the brain are not functioning correctly. This causes many reactions, especially for serotonin levels. I used to feel so "crazy" for having this, but have found many people deal with this: Justin Timberlake, David Beckham, Leo DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, Jessica Alba, Alec Baldwin, Woody Allen, Fred Durst, Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Billy Bob Thornton, and many others. I read something interesting that explained that some cases of OCD were a result of having strep throat. I cannot remember the specifics, but they tied in together. And, when I was young, I had strep numerous times. Anyway, I plan to face this head on and Scott has agreed to support me (as if there was a doubt)!

Cleaning
We are off to a great start with the cleaning! Scott & I have cleaned our master bathroom, tv room, & living room. Coming up in early February is the dreaded garage! We want to rid ourselves of any unnecessary possessions and also anything that ties us to any unpleasantness in our past. We are cleaning off (& out) anything that was a part of our old life and keeping only the things of use and things of great memories. We have been living in excess for too long. It's time to simplify!

Organizing
Organizing is basically under the category of cleaning, but it warrants a special mention anyway. Scott & I have 'cleaned' in the past, but have not quite gotten the organizing down yet. We tend (especially me) to not rid us of, but shift things from place to place. If it doesn't have a use, it won't have a home and without a home, it's gone! Organizing also constitutes our lives in general. Some weeks are like a chaotic mess! We have so many things going on from week to week and it's time to cut away the unnecessary things and focus on what's important. Last year I realized the importance of taking time for ourselves and not feeling guilty about it! That was a difficult lesson to learn, but needed. There was a span of several months where Scott & I had just about, sometimes all, the days of the week filled with commitments. On the outside, it looked like we were accomplishing so much, but on the inside we were exhausted, worn down, and dreaming of one night with absolutely nothing to do. When I started having health issues, I not only could not handle the schedule, but it made me realize what we were doing was ridiculous. We thought our heart was in the right place for many things, but if we're exhausted and dreading attending things then it obviously wasn't working out for us. Last year, I realized the importance of time. To take time for yourself, your marriage, and family is the most important thing to me now. I cannot give to others something that I don't have...and that is time. When I was, I was ineffective. So, we've begun organizing our schedules and priorities.
So, now that you all know our focus for 2010, I'm sure everyone has something they'd like to change in their lives. I have made it very evident that all these changes are NOT New Year's resolutions. I don't like those...these things were not something we came up with in January. These things have been in the works for some time now and our goal is to accomplish them and continue on the path.
 
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/newspol/celeb/cfeat/articles/0,,528719_685869,00.html

2010!!

Well, 2010 is here! I was not sad to say goodbye to 2009…it was a rough year! From beginning to end, 2009 was a constant challenge. There were a couple of great things that did come out of it though…the main one being strength. I began the year so weak in my heart, mind, and soul. Throughout the year, so many challenges faced me and most of them I was able to deal with. The others…I’m still walking with. There was a certain time this year that I am especially proud of. Scott & I made some major decisions in our life, personally and as a couple. They were decisions that involved things we had been considering for some time, changes we knew would be hard but better for us down the road. So, within a span of a month and a half, we stood up from our “sitting” position and got our “stuff” together.


There was a time during 2009 that I felt like I couldn’t function on my own sometimes. It’s so easy to depend on other people to help you through, but there always comes a time when you have to find that inner strength and stand on your own. So many people want to help you along the way, but sometimes they get too involved and the line between help and crossing personal boundaries becomes fuzzy. I’m not saying everyone who we sought or volunteered to help got too involved. So many people know their boundaries and respect yours. But, I was in a comfort zone to where I was allowing my personal boundaries to be crossed…letting others in a little too much. I believe there is an important and vital boundary in everyone’s life that should be respected and guarded. Not guarded as in hiding your troubles out of shame or fear, I believe there are some things that can be shared and some things that are just private. I know some people that are more than eager to spill ALL their heartaches and disappointments to whomever will listen. I have found that most of these people say they want help (and some actually do), but a big majority are seeking attention to fill a void in their life. These people don’t really WANT to be helped. They merely want to feel like others care about them and this is the only way they know to have that expressed to them.

What is so frightening is that there are people on the receiving end that enjoy being needed. Everyone wants to feel needed, but I’m talking about people who thrive on the situations and almost ask for them. These are the type of people who want to know your hurts and fears so badly that they try to trigger or pull any bit of raw emotion out of you, thus crossing a boundary. This type of personality is not only after the feeling of being important (needed to the extreme), but they are needing to feel in control of others. Like with an outlet, when these two types of personalities meet, there is electricity; one feeding off the other for emotional needs. There are, though, people who truly want to help you, but they respect the boundaries in your life as well as their own.

My main point in the last two paragraphs (I got way off subject) is that I didn’t want to become the “dependant” type person. I don’t mind sharing my feelings, but I do have set boundaries. Not until changes were made this year, did I actually learn and understand the importance of boundaries. I had no idea, in the beginning, what mine were. When you have no personal boundaries, others will cross what should be one not even realizing they are doing so. But, you can’t be upset with them…because you never made them aware of what was “off limits”. After learning and figuring out what suited me, I began enforcing it. Some people were a little put off by it and even questioned me as to whether I was angry with them or if I had fallen off the wagon of Christianity. If I were on the outside, I guess I would have the same questions. But, no I’m not a heathen or angry with anyone. And, this post is not pointed to any one person. Also, there is no one person I was having issues with…it was a collective of me determining my boundaries and applying them.

By having these boundaries, it has freed me in huge ways. I feel not so out of control. I feel much stronger in my self, my home life, my marriage, my family, and most importantly in my relationship with God. I found strength and understanding. I found self respect and a deeper respect for others. I found that I have no want or need to be “carried” through life’s challenges. I found that I can stand up, and take care of business. As long as I seek God’s guidance and stay focused, I feel like I can hold onto this strength. I’m not saying asking for or receiving help is bad, but I am saying it’s bad when you are so dependant on it that you don’t even know or try to face challenges on your own.

So, I’m looking forward to 2010. I feel excited…like here is a new adventure. This year, Scott & I decided to work on communicating and cleansing. Communicating is self-explanatory. Cleansing…we plan to clean out everything! Cleaning not only in our home, but within ourselves. There are so many thoughts and feelings we’ve held onto for so long…they shouldn’t be an issue in our lives when in reality they are all in the PAST. We’re just getting rid of all the trash or things we’ve held onto that have no purpose in our lives. So, on to a great new year!!