Have to's, Needs, & Wants...

We're already in the second week of October and I haven't posted anything for the month...so here we go!

I'm STILL working on the entry I'll post for selfishness...but, I've been really selfish with my time and haven't gotten very far!


My husband and I have had to work so much lately. He's juggling a full time job and the beginning of our business...and I'm helping some with the business and having to work a lot at my full time job. Anyway, I got home last night at around 6:30 (after leaving 11 hours prior). After my shower and my much needed 15 minutes of alone time to decompress just after walking through the door...it was already 7:30 before we sat down to eat! Thank goodness Scott took care of dinner...we had frozen pizzas! At around 9:00, us both being totally exhausted, we were headed to bed. As Scott was doing his nightly dance and about to let the dogs in for the night, I realized something almost too horrific for words...I only had an hour and a half of relax time for the entire day!!!! And, half of that hour and a half was eating dinner! So, technically, I had one hour in the entire day to actually zone out and relax.

I began thinking out loud to Scott (which he just loves I'm sure). For what purpose were we put on this earth? Was it really for the purpose of working half a day, sleeping more than a quarter of the day, not to mention running errands, etc. for the remainder of the day only to leave an hour or so of enjoyment for ourselves and family? How depressing!! There has got to be more to life than the "have to do" and "need to do". There NEEDS to be more of the "want to do". When I'm 70 years old and look back on my life...I'm so afraid I'll look back and say, "what happened to all the days I've lived...why did I fill my days with need and have to do's?" I'm so afraid I will be so busy trying to get everything done in the day that I will take for granted the relationships that are most important in life. I would love to be able to say when I'm 70 years old, "I've found joy in everyday I have spent on this earth and have not missed one special moment with my husband and family."

I have no clue as to how to make the latter happen, but I know I HAVE to work, and I NEED to take care of all the errands, etc. during the day...but, my hope is that one day I can just have WANTS and only WANTS in my daily schedule!!