Long time...Good Grief

I haven't added any updates to this in quite awhile...2 weeks to be exact. So, many things are going on. We will start with Max. Max, my sister's cat, has been gone for about two weeks. He went missing after chasing a mouse in her new neighborhood. We had all (my sister, husband, me, my husband, and my parents) been posting flyers searching, etc. My sister and her husband are continuing to do so devotedly.

I know the anguish of losing a loved pet...it is one of the most agonizing feelings. Taking care of your pet makes you feel, in a way, almost in control of another's life...not in a bad way, but in a good way. You are the one responsible for the nourishment and safety of your pet...you help form their behavior and are able to give love to them. You learn to trust in your pet...pets are more trustworthy than people. And, when a pets goes missing, all those comforts are yanked away...it leaves a huge void in you. I can only describe it as if someone reached in your chest, grabbed your heart (I picture physical heart, even though it really is the love-type of heart), and yanked it out and ran away as fast as could be, only leaving you with an empty cavity. It's like standing there and looking out on a horizon and feeling so empty. What is so heartbreaking, is that you know your pet is feeling the same way...but, they are going into primal mode. They have to deal with not only surviving in an unfamiliar world, but the anguish of not being able to find home. It reminds me of my grandmother, when she lost her mind (dementia)...she always wanted to go home...she felt so lost. I think of what that must feel like. It's like when your a kid and you lose your mother in a department store...the fear, the cold sweat, the emptiness engulfing you. It saddens me when people hear that a pet is lost and think nothing of it, as in 'oh well, just get another'. To some people, their pets are children...so would you just go find another child if one is lost? Even if pets aren't like children, they are warm bodies with feelings and thoughts. How could anyone be so dismissive of such beings?

Back to Max. The world for him has changed...and he can only be at peace once he comes home. Not to mention my sister being at peace. Her home is incomplete as it is at this moment...a family member is gone, but no closure has been given. Closure would help in a healing process of grieving over him being gone. But, when a pet is missing...it is so unknown. I thank God there is no closure right now...closure means an end...and this is not the end at all! I truly believe that this has been a beginning in their family. To lose someone for a time makes all your feelings and appreciation for them consume and flood over you. My sister getting married a few months ago was an addition to her life and a new beginning at real love with a human being...I truly believe (even though her husband loves Max already) that the purpose is to bring them all together as one. There is no longer her, him and the cat...but one unit...a family. A family is what so many people don't appreciate anymore. I don't believe God caused Max to be lost...that was the work of the Devil...but God will turn the Devil's work into a purpose filled with love and lessons.

Side note: One example of God turning something of the Devil into love and purpose: when I was divorced, there was much grief and sadness (the divorce was the work of the Devil), then I met my husband-God turned the Devil's work into what He (God) had for me. God provided a new start, a new me, and a new road to travel to develop a closer relationship with Him (my husband led me to God). God doesn't do bad things to people so they 'learn a lesson'. God takes what the Devil has cursed you with and turns it to good (if you allow Him to).

Back to Max...I have been known in the past to have 'feelings'. Not just feelings as in happy, sad, etc. But, feelings as in I feel something good will happen or something bad. It can be called discernment in the spiritual realm. When Max disappeared, I was flooded with feelings. But, my spirit has been calm. At first, it bothered me I was so calm...I was worried that I was so selfish and too concerned with my own 'world'(the feeling came into my head for only a few minutes). But, I realized that wasn't it...I truly believe that Max will be reunited with my sister and her husband. I have great peace about it. I don't know how or when it will happen, but it will happen. I think faith is a huge part of this. All of these thoughts were racing through my mind on the 2nd or 3rd day of the search. I was walking alone in a field behind her house and I kept saying, 'God please lead me to Max, please lead him home'. I kept praying, 'please reveal him to me'. Although Max isn't home yet, faith is there. It takes a strong person, and a person with a true and great love for her pet to continue a search every day and night, losing sleep, to find her cat. I believe it has brought her and her husband even closer...they have united in their search for him...he has shown her his devotion to her and Max (not that he needed to show it, but this is just a visual sign of his love for them). It has brought the family closer...the concern, prayers, and yearning to see my sister's family as one unit. When you look from the outside into this picture, it sounds like a children's book showing how to love and unite. A fairy tale of a husband and wife desperate to reunite with their baby (Max) and the journey in which they go to accomplish it. They, in the midst of their journey, unites a family and builds their foundation in their marriage for their future.

For those of you who think I've lost my mind by making a lost cat such a huge issue...I will just say: get out of your own self and love someone (not something-material things of this world). Once you have put all your trust and care into someone (even a cat), you will know the importance of maintaining such a deep connection.