Christmas: Merry & Bright

Why is there such stress around Christmas? Yes, I understand all the presents to buy, the money spent, preparing the house for guests, and the family conflicts. But, why does it have to be that way? Is this Satan’s way of changing our focus from the true reason for Christmas? Is he scrambling our minds with worry and anxiety so we will be too busy to recognize why we celebrate Christmas to begin with? Why do we give each other presents? Shouldn’t we be giving the church or charities the presents? Instead, the people with an abundance of money give each other a present for having a good year, or worse, trying to one-up each other. The lower income people scrape by and sometimes charge themselves deeper into debt just to buy a few presents so their kids won’t be disappointed. Companies take advantage of the gift giving by giving their clients presents (incentives) to stay with them through the next year. They use Christmas as a type of marketing/sales ploy to get more money in their pockets. I think we should do away with the presents-I hope my parents don’t read this though. ;-) But, truthfully, some re-evaluation needs to be done with this whole present deal. This year, I have cut way down. I have only bought gifts for the children of our closest friends and family, our parents and grandparents. As for Christmas cards, we sent a third of what we did last year. I thought I’d feel guilty for not buying so many presents or sending so many cards, but I truly feel less anxious. As for the family gatherings, it’s too early to tell!
Moving on from the complaining!
I thought I’d note some of my favorite things about Christmas:

The excitement of waking up knowing it’s finally Christmas day
The memories of Christmas past when all my grandparents were alive
The memories of no family drama…when everyone just held it in (ha ha!)
The relief that I get when the holidays are over and I have actually survived them
The smell of the fireplace and the meal to come
The sight of all the nicely wrapped presents under the tree
The pretty table setting and decorations throughout the house
The time with family and friends
The excitement of opening the gifts
The anxiousness of wondering if anyone will like the gift you’re giving…then they actually do!
I also have to note (because people have been posting this question on face book all week) my most favorite Christmas present of all time:

I was maybe 8 or 9 and the Miss Piggy dolls were very popular. They were plastic with fake blonde hair you could brush and she wore a sparkling pink dress. I first laid eyes on her at Winn’s (they no longer exist). I begged for her for months. The thing was that it was the 80’s and the oil crisis hit. My dad was out of a job, but a kid doesn’t understand any of that. Christmas morning came and I opened my gifts looking for the Miss Piggy doll. I found her…kind of. My mom had hand-made me one. It looked nothing like the one in the store. At first I was disappointed because mine looked nothing like any of my friends dolls. But, within the days following I grew to love her the same, if not more than the store bought doll. She was made of a soft material, wore a pretty pink dress with ruffles, had blonde hair made of yarn, and big eyes with fake eyelashes glued on. This Miss Piggy became one of my favorite dolls. I’m sure if I had the store bought doll, she would have already been given away and discarded. But, the hand-made Miss Piggy that my mom tried to work on for so long without me finding it (which was hard) is still with me. I cherish her and will keep her all of my days. There was no love in the store bought version, but there was in the hand-made one!

In closing, I wish everyone a merry Christmas! And, always remember the wonderful memories of Christmas past and stop all the stressing and take time to cherish this Christmas!

Weekend Update:

Hello all! Today is Friday...yea...only 45 more minutes before I can go home after a hectic week! Here's the short version of the events this week...stressful! I had gone to the doctor last week to get my blood tested as a routine deal for a couple of the meds I take. I got a call from the nurse Monday at 11:30 saying that the doctor needed me to come in for more labs as soon as possible. That is always the LAST thing anyone ever wants to hear! She scheduled me to come in directly after their office reopens after lunch (I have never been able to get in that quickly). Once there, I'm in a room with 4 people waiting...they call me first even though I was the last to arrive. That caused my worrying to skyrocket! My blood was taken and the doctor came in to discuss the results of the last test. He was concerned with my liver...the enzyme count was not good! He scheduled me for the first ultrasound of the following day at the hospital. So, after a horrible night and next day (Tuesday) of worrying, they call with the blood results by 3:00 on Tuesday. I have never had results come in that fast! It turns out I do have an issue with my liver...but, it's not a viral hepatitis like my doctor was concerned with! It seems that, once again, my past is catching up with me! Due to my horrible eating habits and lack of exercise, mixed with my bout with alcoholism from years ago...my liver is screaming that it can no longer take any more abuse. So, all those years of thinking that I will worry about "it" later, and the years of feeling invincible, I have now realized why my parents were always griping.


Though, I am truly blessed that I have a chance to better my habits and stop any more damage from being done to my liver. The damage with the alcohol and the past is done, but I can stop any progression. I don't like having an issue with my liver, but I'm almost relieved that I have an explanation for the past 7 months of feeling exhausted, nauseous, and just plain sick. So, since I was out a day and a half from work, the remainder of the week has been chaos! But, in 30 more minutes I will be FREE! I love that Friday afternoon feeling of leaving work. The second I step foot outside the office doors, it's like the world turns into the scene in Bambi...animals frolicking about, flowers in full bloom, a nice tune in the air, and pure happiness and freedom! Although, once in the car I begin to list in my head all the chores and errands I must accomplish before Monday. But, still I have at least 5 minutes of pure bliss!
BTW, this weekend I have planned to craft my butt off!  I need to finish the Christmas gift baskets and frames & I will also be working on my ball tree (that sounds like I'm a man-hater)!  Ha ha!  But, it can be found on my sister's blog...Frou Frou Frilly (link to the right).

Thanksgiving...

It’s almost Thanksgiving. It’s the time of year when the leaves have begun turning beautiful, vibrant colors, a nice little chill is in the air, and the aroma of pumpkin spice fills the house. My imagination of this time of year is much more relaxing and peaceful than the reality. In reality, I only have time to view the beautiful leaves from my screensaver at work, fill the chill only for a few seconds while I dash around doing errands, and the pumpkin spice aroma…well, that’s my glade candle.


The longer I live, the more I see people (me included) rushing around trying to get so many things done and never taking the time to just stop and enjoy what is around them. Have all our priorities changed? Instead of taking a nice walk and enjoying nature, we tend to hop in the car and go to a movie. Instead of enjoying a spectacular creation that was just given to us, we tend to gather in a small space and mentally escape for an hour and a half. For some, the joy and appreciation of Thanksgiving has been replaced by becoming obsessed with all the sales and ‘door busters’ the next day…changing Thanksgiving Day to just the day before Black Friday. I believe in a good sale and all, but I was so upset to hear all the stores that are opening the night of Thanksgiving just to hopefully prevent people from being trampled and mass chaos from occurring Friday morning. Seriously, people are willing to risk others safety just to get a good deal on a tv or even a toaster. I often wish that Black Friday would be banned.

I was speaking to the cashier at Randall’s, an older man, and he was telling me how they will be open on Thanksgiving. I was amazed. He said that since Mr. Randall no longer owned the chain, that so many things have been changed. I remember when Randall’s was closed on Sundays and when they didn’t sell alcohol no matter what day or time it was. I believe Mr. Randall has some good family values.

This Thanksgiving, I want a few changes. I’m not going to just rush through the whole day trying to get the ‘next thing’ done…there will always be a ‘next thing’ to do. The reality of finishing everything you “need” to do is nearly impossible. If it is possible, are you killing yourself to do it? Will you be enjoying yourself and be at peace? This holiday season, I’m not going to try and please everyone…there will always be someone who is not pleased with everything. I don’t plan on impressing anyone…is impressing someone a show of love for them or a prideful expectation of approval for yourself? I’m not going to try and “up” one on anyone else. We all have our own way to give…we all have our own budgets, we all have our time constraints. I’m not going to try and be perfect…if my potatoes are cold I need to realize that it’s okay and life can go on. I want this holiday season to be different. I want there to be peace…peace of mind. I want there to be joy…to enjoy the Christmas trees and the chill in the air. I want there to be more love…love and appreciation for family & friends, as well as yourself. I want there to be goodwill to all men…not trampling people for a few dollars off at a sale, but to truly feel joy that even strangers will be able to spend time with family and feel love and peace.

So, here are just a few things I’ve been thankful for this year:

Making it through the ups and downs of marriage
Spending more time with family & friends
Spending more time with my grandmother
My sister finding a person to spend the rest of her life with (+ 2 cats!)
Adding Charity, our cocker spaniel, to the family
Enjoying another year with Ty & Gweni (our Chow & German Shepherd)
Being able to celebrate the 1st birthday of Maddie (our friend’s baby)
My husband & I starting our own business
My husband managing the business plus a full time job
Having peace of mind of more things than I had last year
Amid all the lay offs, I still have my job
Scott & I getting on a better track financially
Scott & I becoming closer
Having more patience (still need much improvement, but still)
Finding ways to de-stress my life
Writing down my thoughts (this blog)

In closing, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! And, when you are about to scream because your gravy is lumpy and the potatoes are cold…just stop, laugh, and know that it’s okay. Go outside and take a deep breath and feel the cold chill of the season. Pick up a fall colored leaf and bring it inside…let it remind you to take a break every now and then and enjoy what God gave us. Instead of catching up on your e-mails, take a break and bake some pumpkin bread or make some hot chocolate. Stop and let the family know to get rid of the computer, cell phones, & video games for one meal to be enjoyed and remembered until next Thanksgiving.

PS-Instead of partaking in the mass chaos of Black Friday, check out a great online shopping source: Frou Frou Frilly on etsy.com ;-)

Awesome Frou Frou Stuff:

There is an awesome new etsy store opening...http://www.etsy.com/shop/froufroufrilly.
You can find great deals on ribbon tassels and decoupage frames!!  They are all handmade and every detail is patiently crafted.  The maker is experienced in several crafts including miniatures, paper goods, and shadow boxes...which are still in the works.  So, check it out!!  Mention "life of the middle class princess" so maybe I can get a discount later...wink, wink!!

Have to's, Needs, & Wants...

We're already in the second week of October and I haven't posted anything for the month...so here we go!

I'm STILL working on the entry I'll post for selfishness...but, I've been really selfish with my time and haven't gotten very far!


My husband and I have had to work so much lately. He's juggling a full time job and the beginning of our business...and I'm helping some with the business and having to work a lot at my full time job. Anyway, I got home last night at around 6:30 (after leaving 11 hours prior). After my shower and my much needed 15 minutes of alone time to decompress just after walking through the door...it was already 7:30 before we sat down to eat! Thank goodness Scott took care of dinner...we had frozen pizzas! At around 9:00, us both being totally exhausted, we were headed to bed. As Scott was doing his nightly dance and about to let the dogs in for the night, I realized something almost too horrific for words...I only had an hour and a half of relax time for the entire day!!!! And, half of that hour and a half was eating dinner! So, technically, I had one hour in the entire day to actually zone out and relax.

I began thinking out loud to Scott (which he just loves I'm sure). For what purpose were we put on this earth? Was it really for the purpose of working half a day, sleeping more than a quarter of the day, not to mention running errands, etc. for the remainder of the day only to leave an hour or so of enjoyment for ourselves and family? How depressing!! There has got to be more to life than the "have to do" and "need to do". There NEEDS to be more of the "want to do". When I'm 70 years old and look back on my life...I'm so afraid I'll look back and say, "what happened to all the days I've lived...why did I fill my days with need and have to do's?" I'm so afraid I will be so busy trying to get everything done in the day that I will take for granted the relationships that are most important in life. I would love to be able to say when I'm 70 years old, "I've found joy in everyday I have spent on this earth and have not missed one special moment with my husband and family."

I have no clue as to how to make the latter happen, but I know I HAVE to work, and I NEED to take care of all the errands, etc. during the day...but, my hope is that one day I can just have WANTS and only WANTS in my daily schedule!!

Day to Day Update...

Goodness…I was doing quite well at posting on a regular basis…until lately. I have a certain subject that I plan on writing about later. I’m trying to collect my thoughts and explore a little bit more. It will be on selfishness. That is so huge with me…I believe, that in itself is selfish! Anyway, I’ve always known I was selfish, but for the past few months I’ve been really focusing on the issue. My own selfishness goes much deeper than I had originally thought…scary!!


Anyway, an update on my day-to-day:


Scott got a job with a pool company. Yea! It’s a full time job which will keep him extremely busy. We still have the company we started, but since acquiring customers has been a slow process, we had to add a full time job on top of that. Hopefully, the economy will be better next spring and we’ll be able to add a bunch more customers, so he can move onto our company full time. I have been very proud of him…he’s kept himself quite busy with all our extra jobs.


I am still working at my job…boring! My work is so boring and unfulfilling…but it’s a pay check. I’m trying to avoid the “issue people” at work…I think they intentionally target me to see if I’ll break. I will not get into all the drama at work…I really don’t care enough too!


October is fast approaching and it will be time for a month packed full of birthdays and anniversaries! I’ll be broke by the end of the month, in other words! Anyway, I will enjoy the celebrations!


Medical-wise: went to the doctor again for more tests…hopefully I’ll hear better results. Tests should come back tomorrow! I’m still not sleeping! Yikes! I’ve had insomnia throughout my life…so, I’m used to it. Not that it’s okay, but it’s the least of my issues.


Good news though…mom has offered to help me get a reduction! I’m a little scared and very excited. I will be making my appointment with the plastic surgeon soon to get my request to the insurance company so they’ll hopefully approve me. It will be so different…I’m used to having what I have…but, I think I’ll be happy with a little less! I’m trying to get Scott used to the idea!


I went to a funeral Saturday of a co-worker from my last job. I haven’t seen the lady in about 5 years, but I enjoyed the talks we used to have. To hear of her passing was shocking, but I knew she had been battling with certain issues. I debated on whether to go to the funeral or not, I’m glad I did. It’s strange how you can work with someone for so long and really not know who they are once they leave the office. The funeral also made me reflect on things in my own life…things I take for granted. One issue heavily on my mind was what I may be taking for granted, and also that I don’t want to be taken for granted. When I spoke to Scott after I got home, he said I was being “sappy”! I guess I was. But, it was so heartbreaking to hear family member after family member telling their mother, aunt, grandmother, etc. how they felt about her…when only her body was present. I don’t know if she was told everything prior to her death, but I always worry about leaving things unsaid. I think everyone takes some part of their loved ones for granted. A death of someone you know is tough, but it’s always a good time reflect and make some observations and improvements in your own life.

Well, I will start working on the selfishness entry and post later this week...hopefully!

The Mountain

Marriage has been on my mind a lot lately. Scott & I will be celebrating our 7th anniversary next month on October 19th! Throughout that time, it seems like time stood still while at other times, it flew by us too quickly. Both of us are very passionate people; we love passionately and fight passionately! We’ve been through some extremely hard times, even at points wondering how long we could continue with our marriage. In today’s society, jumping off the “marriage mountain” is all too common. When I met Scott, I had just landed from jumping off the marriage mountain about a year before. For some reason, when I met him, I knew I was ready to try and climb the mountain again. I think in part, it was because Scott was confident that we would be successful and he had not one doubt in his mind.

I imagine the marriage mountain being quite high, like Everest. Along the climb, I see scenic stops…ledges where you can just stand still, catch your breathe and enjoy the view. Other parts of the mountain are a little tricky. I see rocks beneath your feet falling to the ground, loosing your footing…disappointments. While on the climb the importance of communication, cheering each other on, and being dependable are necessary to make it to the top. The importance of a solid footing with each step you take can mean life and death…having a foundation with God. There are many peaks, hidden caves, and off-the-beaten path trails to explore while on the journey. The most important thing is to not get side tracked with the climb. To keep reaching and striving higher and higher to the peak is the ultimate victory in marriage. No one can make the climb alone…it takes both working and helping equally to make the victory happen.

Scott & I are still in the beginning stages of the mountain. At first I think, the beginning stages? It’s been so hard. But, then I look at the entire picture and see how much more we get to climb and work together on this journey. We wouldn’t appreciate who we are today without the disappointments and hard work of the past. I’m excited and a little scared at the climb ahead. Scared because of the unknown…hoping for things we’ve longed for and the “what ifs” of life. Excited because I believe we can make this climb successful and enjoy each step forward. So, on with the journey…

Sweet Ignorance

As a kid, I never worried about much at all. I would go about my life touching whatever I wanted to with no fear of germs, drinking from the same straw as my best friend, riding my bike around the neighborhood, and running off from my mom’s sight in a department store.

Sadly, those innocent things can no longer be done without any fear. It seems the world has taken on so many fears of everything. Handy wipes are in every mother’s bag, sharing a straw is strictly prohibited, riding in the neighborhood is no longer safe, nor is running out of a mother’s sight in a store. And, don’t even think of being blood brothers or sisters! Or the “let’s make a pact” handshake where you and your best friend spit on your palm and then shake hands.

It seems that there is a new fear popping up on a daily basis. The latest being the Swine Flu and the fear that capitalism is no longer apart of the American government. Within the last few years, major fears have included Y2K, weapons of mass destruction, Anthrax in your mail, and SARS. Seriously, what is this world coming to? I guess every generation lives through a major fear…I think of all the bomb shelters of the 50’s.

I think it’s good to be aware, but with all the possibilities and realities for evil in this world, it is hard to manage it all. I can manage dealing with fear #1, 2, 3, & 4…but, my brain is on over load for all the warnings of fear #5-1,000! If a person were to listen and be “on guard” for all the fearful “could happens” just in one day’s worth of the news, they would become insane. It makes me wonder if the darkness of this world has almost totally consumed all the light.

I miss the sweet ignorance of childhood, but now understand the importance of awareness. I think the most important thing to remember is that it’s up to me (and each individual) to make this life worth living. A life worth living isn’t full of darkness or fear. So many things could happen…but, what’s worse: living with fear and expecting something bad to happen, or living with an awareness, being free from fear, and living each day to the fullest? I would rather have 1 day of life being free from fear, than live 100 years in darkness. I truly believe that darkness is creeping up trying to engulf any light in this world. It is up to us to push that darkness back…it’s a daily fight.

Knowing and Really Knowing…

Do you know who Brad Pitt is? I know of him. I know about him. I’ve seen him in magazines and movies. So, yes I know him. Really? Do you know who your mother is? I know of her. I know about her. I’ve seen her almost every day of my life. I know what she expects from me. I know the lessons she taught me. I know her past history. I know the gifts (guidance and blessings) she has given me. I hear her speak to me. I speak with her just about everyday. I know how much she loves me.

So, do you know or really know who God is? The difference between knowing Brad Pitt and knowing my mother are two entirely different things. Why do I know my mother so well? Because I have worked and sought a relationship with her, she worked and sought a relationship with me. Knowing and creating a relationship takes time, patience, and love. Having a relationship is a huge commitment to not be taken lightly.

So, do you know God like you know Brad Pitt? Or, do you know God by sharing in a relationship with Him? He has to be the center and the most important relationship in your life.

Easy or Pleasing?

What would happen if you were to roll around in a tar pit? For one, you would have quite a hard time making your way out of it. It takes a lot of strength and willpower to walk through a thick, deep pit. Once you’ve made your way out, what happens if you don’t scrub all that tar off of yourself? Cleaning yourself off of all remnants of tar immediately upon exiting is the easiest and fastest way to get clean. If the decision is to just stand their on the edge of the tar pit doing nothing but looking back and replaying in your mind over and over again the struggle you spent within it or trying to blame another for you being in it in the first place, the tar begins to dry. Once the tar dries, it adheres to your body like a second skin. The tar sticks to the most sensitive and deep crevices of your body. When you finally do realize you want to get yourself clean, the hard work of peeling each layer of the tar off your being begins. With each layer, the pain of the tar being separated from your being hurts the deeper you get. The closer the tar is to the center of you, the more pain tearing it away may cause.

Some people would want another person to come and rescue them…for them to do all the hard work of tearing away each layer is too much for them. But, many people don’t have enough time or energy or even will to do such a job for another person, they are too busy removing the tar off of themself. Some people don’t want to help because they think that once they have invested a great deal of time in the job, that you will only jump in the pit again. It is not anyone else’s job to rescue you. There is nothing wrong with having people encourage you during this time, but if someone else does it entirely for you, what have YOU overcome? Some people begin the process of tearing off the layers, but quickly give up and just live within their new skin. There is no beauty in hiding within a different skin. It takes much more time to connect with a person who is hiding within themselves.

Some people get used to the tar pits and just stay in it as if it’s their new comfort zone. They make it their new home, their new “safe” place. They don’t even consider leaving because they know if they get out, there is so much hard work that they either just don’t want to do or they don’t think they are able to do. They stay in the pit sometimes because they think their loved ones would expect them to get clean quickly, and if they fail they would have disappointed those they love. So, in an attempt to avoid failing their family, they stay away…whether it be emotionally or physically.

One of the many uses of tar is to waterproof. It was used heavily on wooden boats prior to the use of steel and iron. If you are covered in tar and slow to clean yourself, you have essentially become water proof…water will only drip away from you and not even touch what is underneath that layer of tar. My point being, God’s word washes us clean and renews us…when we are open to it. If we have layers upon layers of tar covering our being, no water can reach us inside. It’s grieving to think that many people choose to lay in the tar pit, or are slow to remove all the tar out of fear, or just run back in the pit so they won’t get wet. Myself included, have chosen to keep a layer on so I couldn’t get wet or at least keep pieces of myself covered. The key is to work daily on removing every bit, every speck of tar covering any place that needs to be washed clean with God’s flowing water. It’s easy to be dirty…but much more pleasing to be clean!

Ready or Not...

Are you ready for everything that comes your way? Most people aren’t. No matter if it’s the car breaking down and you don’t have the funds readily available to repair it, or if there is an unexpected death in the family. A life of worry and fear can actually prepare one for almost everything life may throw at you that is unexpected. But, who would really want to live that way?

My motto has been to always hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. That motto involves playing out the scenario of the worst possible events in life to go through my mind. I tend to have a great ability to picture in detail the most tragic events in life. This basically means, I have felt the pain of grief of losing my family in death, the hurt of adultery, and the gruesome vision of the people closest in fatal accidents. I have also felt the fear inside of hearing my doctor diagnose me with a terminal disease, of seeing myself lose control of my car, and feel the loneliness of my husband leaving me. Many people have worries and fears and some take their “visions” to a deeper level than I have and some just barely skim the surface. I believe those who go much deeper than I have must be in great and constant torment. So, has my way of preparing myself for the worst prepared me for the pain I have put myself through in doing so? To even imagine any one traumatic event happening can cause days and months of constant, obsessive worry. When the huge cloud of worry has passed, what good has it done? None at all. Even if the traumatic event did happen, the only comfort would be that I saw it coming. There would be no less pain or grief just because I had envisioned such an event happening. So, in preparing myself, I have only caused myself more hurt and have allowed the great tormentor to control my mind. I wonder how the schizophrenics of this world were when they weren’t yet fully in their disease. Did they start out as thinking they were just preparing themselves for the worst? Did they take it just one level up from the mainstream worries of today? I wonder how many deaths are caused by worry. Worry can affect your body as well as your mind. The worry of what could happen in life may cause some to give up on life altogether before their time.

And, when does a person become obsessed due to their worry and fears? I believe there is a very thin line between the two. A woman can suspect her husband of cheating on her (which would be worry and fear) so she asks him if he has. What about when she starts living with the wild scenarios of the possible adultery? A woman who envisions situations and pictures her husband committing adultery and starts asking (accusing) him daily, checking his cell phone, his credit card bills, his briefcase has now become obsessed and is being tormented daily with the fears that only years before was just a mild worry. There are thousands and thousands of people in the U.S. suffering from such obsessive worries. Most of these people are not diagnosed and are not even seeking help. Not all these people are “the crazies” people picture in their minds as obsessive people.

What about the person who fears that people would look down on them or dislike them for some reason? A woman (or man) could be so afraid of judgment from others that they don’t even leave their house. What is so disturbing about this is the fact that they have merely passed harsh judgments on themselves not even giving the outside world a chance to pass judgment on them! So, who’s in the wrong…themselves or the outside world? Not everyone in the world will have the same view of a person. The person they are hiding from within their home is actually right there with them…it is only themselves.

As we all know worry and fear are not of God, so obviously the whole warped and toxic thinking is of the Devil. How do you fight the Devil? I honestly don’t believe a mere human can fight the Devil all on their own, no matter how strong willed they are. God is the only strength that can win, but it takes a human will to seek Him. Many people tend to take their own will to the fight with the Devil, but they lose. They have left out the most important step (seeking God)…they are only trying to take the “easiest” way out of their situation. Everyone has hopefully learned there is no easy way out.

The mind can be what you allow it to be…it can be healthy or full of fear and worry. There is a choice. Do you seek a relationship or do you seek a one night stand? A one night stand is wanting God to help you out of your mess just for a short time and then leaving His presence only to call for His help again only when you’re in trouble. That is using God for your own selfish needs only on your time. To seek a relationship is a daily, hourly, every second of your life commitment to love and share and take joy in a life-lasting relationship with God. The choice seems so easy, but people fight every day against the Devil and he still manages to grab onto you at times. The main success is the constant walking forward with God. If you let the Devil torment your mind, he will own it. So, the decision as to which way to turn doesn’t seem so hard. How about the new motto: Always be prepared with the weapons God has given you, and always thank God for what He has blessed you with…a sound mind.

On a walk through the wilderness, you may step on a few twigs and may get stung by a couple of bees, but if God is walking beside you He can heal the hurts and pains of the Devil. If you walk alone, you will stop many times to try and nurse your own wounds, yet you will always suffer the pain. So, are you ready...or not to have your mind and body well and free from the torment?

Grandparent's Day!!

Sunday is Grandparent's Day! Most people, myself included, believe this holiday was started by the greeting card companies to boost their profits. But, whether it was for that reason or not, why has it taken so long to recognize the appreciation and love for grandparents? When I was a kid I remember a bunch of my friends didn't have all their grandparents living...some didn't even have or know their grandparents at all. I could not imagine then what that would have been like...nor have I ever wanted to find out. I have always had a soft spot for the elderly...especially in my family...even when they weren't elderly, just merely in their 40's & 50's which in my childhood seemed like elderly. I was blessed to have all 4 grandparents until April of 2001.

In April of 2001, the day after Easter Sunday, I got a dreaded call from my parents around 4:30 am to get to the hospital because they were performing CPR on my grandfather. My grandfather had a surgery a few weeks prior for chronic pain in his back, neck, etc. He was in a recovery hospital which failed to do their jobs which led to his stay in ICU at a real hospital. Even though he was in ICU, I fully expected-with out a doubt in my mind-that he would recover soon. When I visited on Easter Sunday he was unable to speak...he was in bad shape but he had always pulled through in the past. I kneeled at his bedside and remember talking to him and making plans for our dog's birthday party...his baby blue eyes seemed to know what I was saying. He was speaking through his eye movement. I never said goodbye...because I never thought I needed to. Before 24 hours was up, I got the call to come to the hospital. I rushed to pick up my sister and she was crying in the car...I just kept telling her to stop & that he would be okay. We were within 10 feet of the ICU waiting room within view of my parents who had brought my grandmother. My dad walked to meet us and told us he didn't make it. I did not believe him...nor the nurses. I didn't believe anyone until I saw him in the bed. His eyes were no longer open...there was no more communicating. His hand was cold...the hand that would always pat me on my shoulder to comfort me. That was the first death that had turned my world upside down.

Onto happier times...

Pankaw-(my mother's father)he passed in 2001, but lived a long and honorable life. He had very humble beginnings. His mother died when he was a young child and his father worked on the railroad which meant my grandfather was in boarding homes through his childhood. He was a strong believer in hard work and taking pride in building life from very little to making it to where he was...successful in work, family, & friends. He always said he came from the school of hard knocks...and he was justified in saying so. He was a storyteller...I loved hearing his stories...even if it were for the fifth or sixth time! He was a large, yet gentle man. He was a man I greatly admired and respected...not to mention loved very deeply.

Granny-(my father's mother)she passed in 2007. She had suffered for about 7 years with dementia. Her body and some of her mind was there, but she (who she really was) died when she suffered her strokes. She was such a caring woman. She spoiled me whenever I would spend summers with her every year. She hand sewed so many outfits for me and my Barbie's. She was quiet, but could get her temper going if anyone ever was a threat to her family. She was the type to hold me when I was sick, play with my hair when I couldn't sleep. Those quiet moments meant the world to me...she was compassionate and you never wondered if she loved you...you knew it by just her touch.

Jim-(my dad's father) is living in Conroe. He was as patient and understanding as any man could be when faced with my grandmother's situation. He stuck by my grandmother through the 7+ years of her illness. I could see the great love he had for her in those times. He truly loved her passionately. Jim has always been a man of pride. He has taken such pride in his family history. He is the historian of the family...he has linked the old and the new and shown the new how great the old was. He taught me to appreciate my family roots and to not let them disappear and be forgotten.

Granny-(my mom's mother) moved from Sealy to Katy, right next door to my parents about 3 years ago. I have been so blessed to have her so close to me. I love spending time with her...especially when no one else is around. She was the oldest of 6 children. She has always been a strong woman. When I was a kid, she always spoke her mind whether you liked it or not! But, when she told you something, you knew she was saying the truth. When my grandfather died, her heart broke. I had always seen this fiercely strong woman and when he died, I saw her strength falter. For a woman so strong, it was evident of the pain she felt of his loss and the great love she felt for him in life. During the holidays mainly, I see her missing him greatly. There's been something missing in her glow since his death. But, she has remained a strong woman through it all. She always has put forth her best.

I wish I could write everything I feel for them, but I would be going on for days. I will write my greatest lesson from each:

Pankaw Brown-to work hard and with honor and love gently.
Granny Grayson-to be compassionate and to give more than you take.
Jim Grayson-to remember and take pride in your history when your making your future.
Granny Brown-to be strong and know you can endure everything life throws at you.

So, with this Grandparent's Day, my hope for everyone is to truly appreciate your grandparent's whether they are living or have passed. Just remember how they have helped shape your life and add so many great memories. In current times, people are too busy rushing here and there and not taking time to just stop and enjoy each other. I think that is the time in which our grandparents were raised...where you just stop and appreciate what you have.

9/11/01

Today is the 8th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I'm wondering what all has changed since that time. The patriotism went to such a high peak right afterwards in 2001, but has slowly dwindled down to mild patriotism. It reminds me of the "Easter-Christmas Christians"-the ones who only go to church on the big 2 holidays.

A couple of things that have changed since 9/11/01 has been the great awareness of a potential invasion of the US. People aren't so comfortable anymore. The US isn't as untouchable as it once was thought. There has been much fear instilled within this country. Fear drives people to either run and hide or go crazy and want to overkill the enemy. Since that day, the war has been not only a sign of fighting against terrorism, but the George W. Bush stance that the US won't just sit and take it. The war brought the capture and death of Hussein...that alone was a great victory. The war, though, has been a wake up call to me...I always heard of how when the Vietnam soldiers came home, they were faced with opposition from the very people who they were fighting for. I'm seeing first hand that the soldiers coming home during the current war aren't being faced with much at all. That is grieving to me. It's like no one appreciates or cares what they've done and the personal cost they have endured. People seem content with just going to work, getting their coffee, going out to eat, relaxing at home and maybe watching the news that will only mention how many people had died that day. Why is the death toll of the US soldiers not a huge deal anymore? People have become so consumed in their own world that they only hear a number...they don't see or feel the anguish of each of those number's of families and friends. Is it that Americans has become desensitized to death? Has the value of human life become so low that it doesn't faze us anymore? Not all Americans are so dismissive of the death toll, but many are.

Has 9/11 anniversaries brought any closure to the victim's families or is it just a grim reminder of who caused such an event? Remembering 9/11 is good for the country as a whole...it reminds us of the patriotism we once had and what we should aim to meet again. It reminds of who the enemy is and what they will do to obtain power. It reminds us of all those people who died needlessly and the grief this country felt towards their families. It reminds us of the fact that no where is completely safe and we should always be aware. It reminds us of the importance of American soldiers still fighting in this war. It reminds us that the war is not over and terrorism has not ceased. It reminds us that there is a great potential for another attack...to be ready at all times. It reminds us of the value of everyday life.

In 2006 I went to the World Trade Center...all I saw was a huge pit of dirt. There was no great structure reaching to the sky. There weren't people getting their coffee, parking in the garage, or rushing to make their meeting in time. There was only dirt. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Out of the dust was built a great building, terror came down, and down it went back into dust. The image of people jumping off the higher floors to their death has forever imprinted itself into my mind...not to be ever forgotten. The terror I felt watching both building crashing down, then upon hearing of the Pentagon and the plane crashing into the field was nothing compared to the people in that building. Especially, the people on the other end of the phone listening to their husband of wife saying goodbye because they were certain of their time of death.

These are the times that are the beginning of the end. No one knows exactly when the end will be. But, just like those killed on 9/11/01, when it comes, it is the very end.

So, whether you think the war has or will help the US in the fight against terrorism, take a break from the theories and arguments of whether the US was right or wrong. And give this day to those who deserve it.

Changing my Butt Gear!

Today is Friday...yea!! I should be thrilled and energized just knowing the weekend is fast approaching. But, I'm exhausted! As I wrote yesterday, I was diagnosed with hyper thyroidism and put on meds. The meds aren't working yet (as expected-it takes about 2 weeks to take full effect). I'm feeling the yucks! So, I've been exhausted, etc. for the past month (actually a little over)...I have not kept up to date on my chores at home or errands because it's been so hard just to function. I got ready for work today which takes about an hour from wake to out the door...about 45 minutes into that hour, I was so exhausted. I felt like I had spent a days worth of energy. My legs felt as if they would give out on me. Last week I had gone to the grocery store and 1/4 of the way into grocery shopping, I could barely stand up straight. And, last Sunday going to church...by the time we arrive there I felt like it was time to call it a night...and it was only 10:45 a.m.

So, this weekend, even though I'm not 100%, I need to get my butt in gear and make up for lost time. My house is a total disaster! My laundry hasn't been done in awhile, and just so many odds and ends.

My doctor says I need to diet and exercise...if I don't feel energized enough to get fully ready for work, then exercise is the last thing on my to do list! But, when these meds kick in, I will have to exercise whether I want to or not. Living by the seat of my pants...living for today...has finally caught up with me. All those days of thinking I could worry about my future tomorrow are gone...tomorrow is here!

Stupid Web Scares!!

So, as you can see in my previous post, I was experiencing some cyberchondria. I got the results from my blood test today...and found out that all my symptoms that I looked up online where the results were showing cancer, blood clots, head traumas, etc. were terribly wrong! I have hypothyroidism...the web NEVER gave me that as a result! I think I should start recording this type of conspiracy. I will begin to log any illnesses I, or anyone else I know, has and compare what the internet diagnosis is and the actual diagnosis. i think it would be interesting to see the comparisons. No wonder so many people act crazy in life...they have probably gone online and looked up a stuffy nose and it resulted in a terminal disease so they decided to do stupid things since they have nothing else to lose! If I actually did suffer from a terminal disease and saw a bunch of wackos claiming they have the same disease (by way of cyber diagnosis) I would be so ticked off...but, not for long since I would die soon. Anyway, it's crazy how the mind can play tricks on you...when I saw all the horrible possibilities of life altering or threatening diseases, I began to think "what if?". I guess it's good to always be prepared for the "end", but I think I'll go by the doctor prior to looking anything up online now. Same goes with pets too...the internet can give you some scary results! My german shepard/chow mix had a terrible case of diarrhea and I just knew (from looking online) that he had the life-ending parvo. We took him to the vet, preparing to hear the worst, and learned that he just had a worm. I'm starting to freak out about having children...I think I would go crazy from all the internet disease possibilities!

Hypothyroidism...have to take meds---I hate meds! But, at least it wasn't diabetes...I was expecting that to be the case.

Anyway, my advice for whatever that's worth...which I should start charging people...then maybe people would think I might actually know what I'm talking about...is to skip the internet doctor and go to a real one!

Dr., Dr. Give Me Some News:

Also-one reason I haven't been blogging lately is that I've been so run down! For the past 4 weeks I have felt drained of all energy, nauseous and dizzy after eating, and just plain tired! So, naturally, I go to the internet to self-diagnose!

Gone are the old days of hypochondria and here are the new days of cyberchondria! Yes, cyberchondria...for those who aren't familiar with the term...it means exactly how it sounds: the crazies stemming from internet health info. (yes that is the medical definition-lol)! I actually went online today and looked up hypochondria and the symptoms...this is what most people should be looking up instead of their so-called illnesses. Hypochondria is actually a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. But, if you have hypochondria, do you really have OCD or are you be a hypochondriac about it? Who knows. Whether it's hypo or cyber, it's the same deal...living in fear that any minor ache or pain is actually a sign of a life threatening disease.

Back to my feeling yucky. By the way, I looked up hypo and cyber chondria because when I looked up my symptoms of dizziness, nausea, etc. the internet suggested I had any one of the following (not all are listed):

cancer
blood clot in the brain
blood clot in the heart
mini-stroke

So, considering all these possible illnesses, I decided the internet health sites suck. But, what drives me so badly to look up a symptom when I feel ill? The first place I go is the internet! And, the next place I go is into crazy town in my mind. So, off to the doctor I go...today is my appointment. I'm wondering how many days I have left to live! What's so awful is that after reading all the internet sites, I have mentally prepared myself for anything that he might suggest is the cause. Like I always say...better to be prepared for the worst. I know, that's a great motto to live by...and that's why I'm living in an OCD type of fantasy land. Although, I thought fantasy land would actually be cool stuff, not weirdo type stuff.

I actually went to the doctor last week (my now old doctor) and he sent me to a nurse to have my blood taken. The chick was the only person working there to do blood/urine work...and I was 1 of 2 patients there...so not busy. She not only took a personal phone call and told the person to hang on and set the phone right beside me where the caller could hear in detail how my blood wasn't flowing and hear me squeal when she hurt me! The lady poked me once and couldn't get anything, then poked me in the hand! Ouch...the hand hurts! Now, I have a half-dollar sized bruise there. So, I have found a new doctor!

I will keep this illness junk updated once I know....so, so long for now!!

Long time...Good Grief

I haven't added any updates to this in quite awhile...2 weeks to be exact. So, many things are going on. We will start with Max. Max, my sister's cat, has been gone for about two weeks. He went missing after chasing a mouse in her new neighborhood. We had all (my sister, husband, me, my husband, and my parents) been posting flyers searching, etc. My sister and her husband are continuing to do so devotedly.

I know the anguish of losing a loved pet...it is one of the most agonizing feelings. Taking care of your pet makes you feel, in a way, almost in control of another's life...not in a bad way, but in a good way. You are the one responsible for the nourishment and safety of your pet...you help form their behavior and are able to give love to them. You learn to trust in your pet...pets are more trustworthy than people. And, when a pets goes missing, all those comforts are yanked away...it leaves a huge void in you. I can only describe it as if someone reached in your chest, grabbed your heart (I picture physical heart, even though it really is the love-type of heart), and yanked it out and ran away as fast as could be, only leaving you with an empty cavity. It's like standing there and looking out on a horizon and feeling so empty. What is so heartbreaking, is that you know your pet is feeling the same way...but, they are going into primal mode. They have to deal with not only surviving in an unfamiliar world, but the anguish of not being able to find home. It reminds me of my grandmother, when she lost her mind (dementia)...she always wanted to go home...she felt so lost. I think of what that must feel like. It's like when your a kid and you lose your mother in a department store...the fear, the cold sweat, the emptiness engulfing you. It saddens me when people hear that a pet is lost and think nothing of it, as in 'oh well, just get another'. To some people, their pets are children...so would you just go find another child if one is lost? Even if pets aren't like children, they are warm bodies with feelings and thoughts. How could anyone be so dismissive of such beings?

Back to Max. The world for him has changed...and he can only be at peace once he comes home. Not to mention my sister being at peace. Her home is incomplete as it is at this moment...a family member is gone, but no closure has been given. Closure would help in a healing process of grieving over him being gone. But, when a pet is missing...it is so unknown. I thank God there is no closure right now...closure means an end...and this is not the end at all! I truly believe that this has been a beginning in their family. To lose someone for a time makes all your feelings and appreciation for them consume and flood over you. My sister getting married a few months ago was an addition to her life and a new beginning at real love with a human being...I truly believe (even though her husband loves Max already) that the purpose is to bring them all together as one. There is no longer her, him and the cat...but one unit...a family. A family is what so many people don't appreciate anymore. I don't believe God caused Max to be lost...that was the work of the Devil...but God will turn the Devil's work into a purpose filled with love and lessons.

Side note: One example of God turning something of the Devil into love and purpose: when I was divorced, there was much grief and sadness (the divorce was the work of the Devil), then I met my husband-God turned the Devil's work into what He (God) had for me. God provided a new start, a new me, and a new road to travel to develop a closer relationship with Him (my husband led me to God). God doesn't do bad things to people so they 'learn a lesson'. God takes what the Devil has cursed you with and turns it to good (if you allow Him to).

Back to Max...I have been known in the past to have 'feelings'. Not just feelings as in happy, sad, etc. But, feelings as in I feel something good will happen or something bad. It can be called discernment in the spiritual realm. When Max disappeared, I was flooded with feelings. But, my spirit has been calm. At first, it bothered me I was so calm...I was worried that I was so selfish and too concerned with my own 'world'(the feeling came into my head for only a few minutes). But, I realized that wasn't it...I truly believe that Max will be reunited with my sister and her husband. I have great peace about it. I don't know how or when it will happen, but it will happen. I think faith is a huge part of this. All of these thoughts were racing through my mind on the 2nd or 3rd day of the search. I was walking alone in a field behind her house and I kept saying, 'God please lead me to Max, please lead him home'. I kept praying, 'please reveal him to me'. Although Max isn't home yet, faith is there. It takes a strong person, and a person with a true and great love for her pet to continue a search every day and night, losing sleep, to find her cat. I believe it has brought her and her husband even closer...they have united in their search for him...he has shown her his devotion to her and Max (not that he needed to show it, but this is just a visual sign of his love for them). It has brought the family closer...the concern, prayers, and yearning to see my sister's family as one unit. When you look from the outside into this picture, it sounds like a children's book showing how to love and unite. A fairy tale of a husband and wife desperate to reunite with their baby (Max) and the journey in which they go to accomplish it. They, in the midst of their journey, unites a family and builds their foundation in their marriage for their future.

For those of you who think I've lost my mind by making a lost cat such a huge issue...I will just say: get out of your own self and love someone (not something-material things of this world). Once you have put all your trust and care into someone (even a cat), you will know the importance of maintaining such a deep connection.

Grrr!

I haven't posted since Monday...goodness! It has been a crazy busy, busy week! While I was off in my own little world today, I overheard one of my most dreaded phrases...yes, like nails on a chalk board! Then, I started thinking of all the "work" phrases that I despise:
"Give me a heads up"
"Keep me in the loop"
"Playing phone tag"
"Playing catch up"
There are many, many more, but I can't think of them right now. But, every time I hear one of these-it drives me absolutely crazy! I just want to scream!

Anyway, off for now!

Monday...again!

I cannot believe how fast the weekends go and how terribly slow the week goes by! My weekend involved many things that were completely unplanned! One of those things was my car's a/c went out! It wouldn't be such a big deal, but it is Texas and summer..so it was a huge deal! Luckily, it won't cost too much to fix (a band-aide fix, but still). I actually got some canning done too! Saturday I canned bread and butter pickles...it was awful! Not only does my house wreak of pickles, but when making them I had made a mistake! I cut up all the cucumbers and onions, packed them in pickling salt and let it do it's magic for the hour and a half required. I then made the vinegar and spices (which are expensive) concoction...as I was pouring the cucumbers & onions into the vinegar+spices, I realized I forgot the ice cubes (which breaks everything down in the cucumber/onion/salt mixture! So, I threw them out (after throwing a horrible tantrum) and Scott went and bought another 4 lbs of cucumbers. Luckily, for my sanity, he helped me cut everything up and start over! It was insane hour in princess world! Hopefully, they will turn out okay...I have to wait 4-6 weeks to see if they taste good (recommended wait time for best flavor). Then, Sunday I made the strawberry jam. I have never made jam or jelly so this was an experience! It turned out good I guess? The jam is a little runny, but once I put it in the fridge overnight, it jelled perfectly! But, giving them out as presents I'm not so sure about! I may need another try at it!
Scott was loving this canning gig since while I'm busy doing all that crap, he's on his XBox 360 playing Fable 2...I cannot see what he likes about that game! It drives me crazy! Anyway, other than the car freaking out on me, not so bad...but, it flew by! I feel ripped off...like it went so fast it just wasn't fair! I think the only thing that would make this whole ordeal livable is if mom makes some chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy for dinner one night this week...and, of course, calls me early to let me know not to miss out on it! Seriously...chicken fried steak!!

I thought I'd show you a couple of pictures from my 40 hour a week prison of pure boredom!! I know, I know...you're jealous that I get to look at these scenes all day every day.

Today is Friday...finally!

At work, every other Friday we have the option to take a half day if we've made up the 4 hours during the week. This is NOT my half day...but, I'm glad half the people in Accounting are leaving now! It makes for a very quiet, peaceful Friday afternoon.

My weekend plans: will go over to my parents house to NOT have chicken fried steak. I requested it because it's my favorite, but mom said she just made it blah blah blah. All I really heard was no and then a bunch of filler! Mom, I hope you're reading this...I want my chicken fried steak next week! Oh then later, I plan to go to the grocery store to get something to can tomorrow. I really like canning vegetables and I want to try fruit this time. I may go with pickles (again) and then jam next weekend if I have time. Due to financial yucks everyone in the family may be getting my canning products for Christmas presents...so y'all don't get your hopes up too much for anything spectacular for Christmas! I just went last night to buy a bunch of jars (I only got 3 cases) from Ace Hardware on Memorial/Dairy Ashford...they were having a really good sale! Then pizza party Sat. night, then errands, church on Sunday.

Update: Finances, Husband, & Stress

Okay, so yesterday I was going on and on about the finances & husband. Finances are still on my crap list, but the husband is now off (he comes and goes a lot on that list)! I will continue clipping my coupons and working on my financial plans. I just bought an ad for our company in the local paper...hoping to hear back from them on when the first issue will include it. I'm anxious to see if we get any calls from it! Keep your fingers crossed!

Finances, Husband, & Stress...not all in that order!

I have nothing going on at work today...very boring and quiet. Thank goodness! But, one thing is going on today...the dreaded fight-with-husband-while-at-work ordeal! I just hate when I'm at work and stressing as usual about everything I need to do at home! I spoke to my husband on the phone and of course when the subject of finances and the future of our finances (or the lack there of) an argument erupted! Why does it seem that women worry more than men about stuff? Or, is it just that women worry and vocalize it, and men worry the same amount but just don't say anything? Either way, my husband irritated me to no end! Every time I bring up the finances, he responds with "don't worry" or "I'll take care of it", but if that were true why are we always struggling financially? I know, when growing up, I remember my parents always telling me how "poor" they were and that they didn't have any money, but we still managed to go on vacations and go out to eat every now and then. So, is their "poor" the same as my "poor"? No! We are so strapped right now...counting every penny! I'm exhausted from keeping up with the money we don't have...I would at least like to see a light at the end of this very long tunnel. The stress involved with money is so much deeper than I could have ever imagined. It's not something that I stress about for 5 minutes then I'm over it for a few days...it's constant! We, of course, have the company we've started...but, we have 3 customers...the same 3 from 2 months ago...I see no light anywhere in this tunnel...I can't even turn on my own flashlight! So, now, on top of the financial stress there is the addition of the fight-with-the-husband stress. I guess God is really pushing my limit on what I can handle! I'm about to that breaking point to where I just want to lie down and raise the white flag. But, what would that help? Doing nothing is definitely worse than not keeping up with the financial plan. I've done the give-up-and- fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants thing...but, the only thing that comes out of that scenario is that I just lose my pants and can't afford another pair. Anyway, the stress with the husband is worse I think...even though it's not as long lasting as the financial saga. I hate sitting at work...and being in pure boredom as usual...and being mad and hurt and having everything being unresolved. What's so bad is that when I was on the phone with him giving him my two cents (which was all I could afford) I said some pretty yucky things. The yucky things though came out of real fears and feelings...I meant some of those things, but I could have verbalized them better and been not so accusing to him being the only culprit in this mess. So, should I apologize for the spouting off of my stress and anxiety? Probably, but why is it so hard to do that when you really meant a lot of what you said (not all the accusing things though)? It's pride for sure...I always have to be right...and if I'm not, I always have to still act like I'm right! I will have to mull that over for awhile...and I've got the time...I get to mull it over for at least another 4 hours. And, being upset at work is worse than at home...there's nothing here to take my mind off of it...my work requires no brainpower (what I'm doing today) so I've got the full 4 hours for this to play and re-run through my mind! Gripes!
PS-the lady in the cube across from me is clipping her finger nail-all I hear is the snapping-they are falling on the carpet....nasty!!

Ironic, don't you think?

When you open a Dove chocolate and the message on the wrapper says, "kick a bad habit"...and your bad habit is eating chocolate. That marketing idea sucked!

Update to Fashion:

I just saw the girl the sleep-at-desk lady was talking about...she looks really cute! She's thin and is sporting a really pretty, form fitting dress. I would not say it's inappropriate because it's not form fitting in a hoe-ish way.

Fashion

Okay, first thing I hear today is the sleeping-at-the-desk lady's voice telling me something negative about another co-worker! Lovely! I just love the few moments in the morning that everyone is quiet and peaceful (because they're just waking up), but totally hate when that moment is ruined by a who-cares piece of negativeness! Anyway, I have been complaining too long now...I'm even annoying myself! Later!

Ho Hum, A New Week Has Begun:

Oh my goodness! Another week has begun. One day I fully expect for my boss to come to my desk and offer me double my salary for such a great job I do! While I'm waiting for that to happen, I'll just keep observing the goings on of the office. Today, has been less than interesting! One lady has been asleep for more than an hour at her desk! Seriously, everyone's supposed to believe you have been concentrating on that difficult invoice for over an hour?! Also, the lady who thinks people are always talking about her has made her rounds to practically everyone's cubicle gossiping about everyone else...ironic. While, I'm here doing my job. Oh yes, I have reclassified my job as researching coupon deals online, e-mailing my sister, looking on facebook from my cell, and oh yes, working on actual work stuff! I guess I'm no better, but at least I'm not bugging everyone else!  Mondays seem like such quiet beginnings, only to lose it's sanity the next morning. I love that no one feels like being here so they don't talk as much to each other and start as much drama. But, once Tuesday morning hits, everyone is back to normal or twice as bad...making up for Monday and giving you a dose of Tuesday as well. Hopefully, that wasn't confusing...I kind of confused myself...it is Monday after all. And, in closing, I will quote a legendary, great movie (Office Space)..."do you have a case of the Mondays?". Why, yes, weirdo lady, I sure as heck do! And, with that I will sign off for today. Late double dawgs!!

Princess?

Ok...I was thinking...why Princess? Ever since I was little I was called Princess..or spoiled rotten brat. Princess sounds better, so I'll stick with that! Growing up, I was basically given everything my parents could swing. If they balked, I would throw one of my too-familiar tantrums until I got what I wanted. I would spend so much time begging and ranting to get what I wanted instead of just being a sane person and doing without. As I grew up, I realized that I was totally uncontrollable! I put my parents through so much crap! I wouldn't want a child with such an attitude and diva-like qualities. Anyway, being a princess in adulthood sucks! When I'm at a department store, the people there don't care if I want something but have no money of my own to pay for it. My boss doesn't care if I don't feel like doing a certain task. And, the electric company sure does not understand that I would rather spend my money at the mall than to waste it on electricity...can't they just like give me a break this month? Those people don't care if my lower lip is sticking out-pouting! They don't care that I'm committed to yelling and crying until I get turn red as a beet. They don't care if what they require out of me is not pleasing to me! This adulthood crap sucks! But, soon enough I learned there's no way around being an adult.
I may be wrong, but in my opinion...I think growing up having everything taken care of for you and provided for you until you're in your mid 20's is more damaging than being thrown out on your own at 18. Being a princess made me learn some of life's lessons too late. I was learning how to mature at 27, while others were maturing at the same level at 18. I didn't have to start paying for my gas until I was 23 yrs old...I didn't have to start paying for my car insurance until I was 27! I had no clue how much everything cost, What really sucked is that, once I went out on my own, I had a huge slap in the face of reality. One day, I had everything provided for me, the next I was on my own. I didn't even know how to balance a checkbook until lately. I never learned early on how to use those (what I thought) useless little pages of blank lines in front of my checkbook. I used them as a back-up personal phone book.
Anyway, I'll go on about my growing up at age 27+ in time. I just thought I'd jot some stuff down.
Now, off to my bath...which I have to pay the water bill for later! Crazyness...I used to think water was just provided to people for free...since it came from the ground and all! No kidding..I'm not stupid, but just wrapped up in my own selfish world to ever wonder or ask! Late Dawgs!!

Days of My Work...co-workers are crazy!

Okay...I have like 5 minutes to do a little snippet of info.There's this girl who is about 22 yrs old that I work with...kind of work with. I kind of work with her because technically she's not hardly at work at all! Since I started (she started 3 months before me), she has missed at least 3 days per week...EVERY week. Actually, one week since she's been here, she worked 4 days in one week...I was in shock! Anyway, why should I care you ask? Well, I have to help do her work when she's gone. I have worked here almost 2 years and this has gone on for the entire 2 yrs + 3 months. Her mother is high up in the company, but still, that should be no excuse why she gets away with this! She is always sick, is moving (count 3 times in the last year alone), or has some other kind of drama. When she is here, she's the nicest person in the world, but this is ridiculous! Everyone at work talks about her behind her back...viciously! I am so frustrated having to hear them talk with terrible bitterness and unfounded thoeries they've made up as to why she's out so much. Yes, I am guilty for talking bad (on here), but this is anonymous and I am venting! Last week, I spent 4 hours doing her work...another girl got slammed with the rest. Now, we're both behind. The word on the street (the vicious rumors) is that she's in a "bad", abusive relationship, she's been pregnant (not founded), or she's just partying all the time. I'm not sure what it is, but come on people! People spend more time here talking about her than they do working. I try and stay out of it...although, I am very guilty of attentively listening to every word. If you were her mother, would you keep taking up for her? If you were her boss, would you keep her employed? I know my answer!

BTW...beginning last Monday, the 20th, she's made it to work 1 day (actually 6 hours)! So, attendance count is 1 out of 8 working days!

Intro:

This is my first time blogging. I never thought I'd do this, but I cannot escape technology...or the urge to tell all my business!
A little bit about me:
I'm 33 (or so my birth certificate says) and live in Texas, near Houston. I'm married and have no children, other than 3 dogs who think they're children. I'm going to keep this short and sweet...since I'm at work. Oh yes, I work a regular 40 hr a week job...accounting clerk...so boring! But, for having no college degree or licensed trade, it ain't all bad! My husband and I are trying to start a business and it's going sloooooow! So, on top of our 40 hr a week jobs, we do odd jobs here and there to keep afloat. I'm in the middle (or closer to the beginning stages) of writing my own book. I will post info. about the book content later...long story! My parents, sister, and grandmother all live in the same town as I do. That can become a little interesting at times! My main purpose for this is to:
1) something to do
2)so I can say a whole lot...which will give my husband a much needed break from hearing me rattle on!
3)to vent
4) to anonymously air my gossip without actually gossiping in the "real world"
5)to spread my cheer and wonderful personality! lol!

So, enough for right now. More posts to come and believe me, they will be much more interesting!